I recently visited my family in Los Angeles, and since I was there around Valentine’s Day, I was reflecting on the idea of romantic partnership. It can be really fun to pay attention to what’s present around you in your space, and consider how the things you notice might reflect events or situations that are happening in the outside world.

One of the things I was thinking about at my parents’ house was the symbol of mandarin ducks. Mandarin ducks are considered one of the most beautiful types of ducks, and they are often found in pairs not only in artwork and Asian motifs, but also in real life. They are symbols of marital happiness and fidelity in Asian culture, as well as good luck and joy. It’s said that Mandarin ducks mate for life, and that the two love birds become so attached to each other that if they are separated, they may perish from sadness. I think this is something we can all understand — we’ve been through the heartbreak that can happen when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to open up to a partner. Whatever Valentine’s Day means to you, the symbol of mandarin ducks can be an invitation to consider how you have opened yourself to be vulnerable with a partner. If you want to invite in a new partner, how can you become more open to that? Is this the right time for you to open up to a partner?

My parents received three sets of Mandarin ducks: one from my wedding, and one from each of my two sisters’ weddings as well. It’s traditional for a couple to be gifted a pair of wooden Mandarin ducks on their wedding day, and this represents good luck and conjugal harmony. For my wedding, we dressed in hanboks, traditional Korean dress, and we did a bowing ceremony in front of my parents, and my husband offered the ducks to my parents. This is how my sisters and I used the symbol of Mandarin ducks, but it may be different in different Asian cultures.

If you resonate with Mandarin ducks, there are many ways you can work with this symbol. You may want to find a pair of Mandarin ducks, create or draw your own, or even just reflect upon this symbol of conjugal harmony, partnership, lifelong connection, and opening your heart to vulnerability. If you’d like, you can place Mandarin ducks in the Kun area of your bedroom or home. To find Kun in your bedroom, stand in your bedroom door facing in, and find the far right corner. This will typically be Kun, which is the area of the feng shui bagua that is connected to love and partnerships.

In most cultures, including Asian cultures, weddings are considered very auspicious and festive life events, along with birth, death, and age transitions. In our modern, fast-paced world, we often forget about the importance of honoring these transitions, but in feng shui, a wedding is considered a life event with unlimited amounts of positive qi. I had the honor and pleasure of having my feng shui mentor Rosalie Prinzivalli officiate my wedding. She also helped me choose an auspicious date for my wedding based on my astrology and my husband’s astrology, and also gave me some practices to do.

Whether you have an actual wedding or simply a party to celebrate your partnership, this event is a time in your life when you have auspicious qi all around you. You have an unlimited amount of qi to offer the world, and it’s quite a gift for you to share it with others – so if you are looking for a partner, one thing you can do is surround yourself with people who are getting married, people who are married, or people who symbolize the type of partnership that you would like to have. The more you are around these people, the more you will absorb and understand their qi.

If the symbolism of Mandarin ducks feels meaningful to you, I encourage you to take some time to reflect on this. And whether you are single or in a relationship, I hope you had a happy Valentine’s Day!

by Anjie Cho