Q&A Sunday: Encouraging Change in the Home

Are there some simple things I can do to change the energy and encourage my dad to de-clutter the place?

Jane H., Bronx, NY

Hi Jane, 

Thank you so much for submitting your question to the Holistic Spaces blog. It's a great question! So, you're wondering if there are some simple things you can do to change the energy in your home and encourage your father to declutter the space. 

My first thought: If you've read or are familiar with Marie Kondo, in her book, The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up, she actually suggests working on yourself first. Take a look at your own personal space, start with decluttering that area and, by example, you'll encourage others (your dad) to do the same. If your personal areas aren't particularly cluttered, you can even work on clearing out shared public areas, like the kitchen or living room. So, my first suggestion here is to work on changing the energy of the space for yourself.

My second recommendation is to move a few things around in your home. Moving nine things with intention in your space can help to change the energy in your home, not just for your father, but for you as well. These don't have to be big adjustments. They can actually be rather small, even a matter of inches. You could move a lamp nine inches in one direction or move your dishes from one cabinet to another. Or you could completely remove an item from one room or from the home completely. As long as you take the time to stir the energy in your space by moving these nine things with thoughtfulness, you will begin to create changes for you and your dad. 

Finally, use space clearing techniques to promote change and more peace in your home! Space clearing can shake up the energy in your space and clear out stagnant energy so positive qi has room to flow. And it's really easy to do! Check out our post on using orange peels to clear space, or you can use orange essential oil to make an orange spray. Alternatively, you can buy an orange mist or try palo santo, both of which we offer at the Holistic Spaces store. You could also grab a bottle of our white sage spray, which I love. In fact, my intuition here tells me that the white sage spray would be best for you, and I feel it would really help . If the sage spray isn't within your reach, you might try buying sage and smudging like you would with palo santo. As a note, if allergies are an issue, opt for one of the sprays or palo santo, as they tend to be less irritant.

by Anjie Cho

Thanks for reading our "Q&A Sunday".  We will be answering questions submitted by our readers. Click here to submit any Feng Shui or Green Design questions!

Q&A Sunday: I Ching Divination for Moderation and Self Care

What would be the most effective way to bring, health, protection, and prosperity to our home? My 87-year-old mother lives with us. My husband is struggling, and his mental and physical energy is very low. Can you help prevent him from forgetting so much and struggling to concentrate and increase his mental and physical energy?

Eliane B., Coral Springs, FL

Hi Eliane, 

Thank you so much for your question! It's a little complicated and there are a lot of things going on in this question. I understand you're having problems with health, protection and prosperity and with your husband forgetting a lot and having mental health issues. My intuition guided me to an I Ching reading for this question, so I'll share that insight with you.

The I Ching is also known as the Book of Changes, and it's a way of divination based on Taoism. As is the I Ching practice, I threw coins for your question and received what is called Hexagram #39, which is Water over Mountain. This hexagram represents obstacles. One thing the I Ching tells me is that right now you have a lot of stumbling blocks in your life, and that's obvious in your question. It feels like you may have a lot of confusion there as well. I Ching reflects that as you're experiencing these obstacles, now is not a good time for you to push ahead into the danger. Imagine you're like a rushing river, but you have a lot of snags in your way. If you wait and build up your strength, you will push through these difficulties naturally, much like a river makes its way through a mountain.

So my suggestion would be to not use force right now. Instead, just sit and be patient. The I Ching suggests you don't have the strength to move past these obstructions yet, so focus on building your power and vigor. The second hexagram that comes up is 15, which is Moderation. This confirms that now is a time of moderation, not stubbornly moving forward. Practice moderation in your eating habits, how you spend money and in everything you do, and be careful not to go to extremes, because that could actually create more problems for you. 

As for a feng shui adjustment that could support this path, you may begin to cultivate patience and moderation in your journey to gaining the might you need for this task. I recommend working on a few opposite areas of the feng shui bagua: Self-Knowledge and Relationships, which is also related to self-care. Both of these areas are Earth elements, so nurturing them is not about doing anything, but about taking care of yourself, moving slowly and implementing self-control as you build strength. Since this is an issue between you and your husband, I suggest activating these bagua areas of your bed. To do this, place a nine-inch long red ribbon under your mattress in each area, Knowledge and Relationships. When working with a bed, set the bagua at the head of the bed so that the headboard runs along the Abundance, Recognition and Relationships areas, and the foot borders Knowledge, Path in Life and Benefactors. 

Facing your headboard from the foot of your bed, the left corner closest to you would be Knowledge. Put a nine-inch long red ribbon there. The far right corner, near the headboard, would be where you place another ribbon to activate Relationships. That's my advice for now. Make these small adjustments with intention and keep the idea of moderation in mind. You are experiencing setbacks, but instead of focusing on that, really take care of yourself and actively work on your self-cultivation and self-care right now. Good luck!

by Anjie Cho

Thanks for reading our "Q&A Sunday".  We will be answering questions submitted by our readers. Click here to submit any Feng Shui or Green Design questions!

Q&A Sunday: Goldfish for Feng Shui

A few months ago I bought fish tank. I started with nine goldfish. Last week, three died, and I replaced them. After two more have died, one orange and one black, I now have four goldfish left. According to Vaastu/Feng Shui, are we supposed to keep nine goldfish and one black fish, or eight goldfish and one black fish? I was also told to keep my 37 gallon tank in the North corner of my house. Can I keep fewer fish or get an extra, smaller tank and put three fish in that tank to make total of nine?

Vana R., Brampton, Ont.

Hi Vana, 

Thank you for your question! Before we begin, it might be helpful for you to look at two of our previous answers, Question of the Month: What About Goldfish? and Q&A Sunday: A Feng Shui Aquarium. You may find useful information there as well.

In your specific situation, my intuition tells me the true issue isn't necessarily about how many goldfish you have or how big your tank is. Life isn't isn't always about following rules tightly or too loosely. In Buddhism and in feng shui, we have the concepts of being tight and loose. If you're too tight, you follow things too closely. If you're too loose, you don't follow closely enough. I am feeling that you are too tight.

Fortunately, you can take a lesson from the flow of the water in the aquarium and be a little looser in your life. It's good that these questions are coming up, because you're curious and dedicated to shifting things. But there is also a tightness coming across. I can be a very tight person too, but just like with the strings of an instrument, if they're too taut, the music isn't right. If they're too slack, the music isn't right either. It's about finding and feeling the balance.

One of the reasons one may want to use an aquarium in the home, at least in BTB feng shui, is to add more flexibility, flow and openness, like water. This is the feeling I'm getting from your question, so I encourage you to look at what is appropriate for you, rather than what the "rules" dictate. In an aquarium, the water is always circulating and moving. It's a metaphor for creating a flow and resisting getting stuck or creating solid rules.

Another thought, ask yourself why those fish died. Did they die because you weren't taking care of them, or was it an accident? Did they die randomly, or were they perhaps not high quality fish? I think it's important to really consider these factors.

The answers to that question will help with the next part, which is figuring out what's best for you and your lifestyle. What size aquarium works best for YOUR space? If you've worked with a Vaastu or feng shui practitioner, and they recommended keeping the tank in the North corner, go with what they advised. It is worth noting that 37 gallons is considered a medium size tank, so if it seems like it's a bit much for you to keep up with, you might want to try a smaller option. It may help to go back to your practitioner and ask why they made the original recommendation and if you can downsize. I can't really advise on this, since practitioners are all very different, but I recommend looking at whether this size is appropriate for you. Keeping fish in your space can be good feng shui, but if you can't maintain them, it could defeat the purpose. 

In your case, it seems that you actually want to try a smaller tank. You can definitely keep fewer than nine fish. In one of the previous questions about goldfish mentioned above, I do share that three is also a good number for fish, but I can't give you a solid answer here, because I feel it's something you need to challenge yourself with. Don't try to just follow the rules and be super tight; really look at what works best for you and add some looseness. Return to the practitioner you originally saw for advice. What was the reasoning behind their recommendations? I also suggest looking for a bit more openness, looseness and flow in your life. That could help you to find the answer you're looking for.

by Anjie Cho

Thanks for reading our "Q&A Sunday".  We will be answering questions submitted by our readers. Click here to submit any Feng Shui or Green Design questions!