Q&A Sunday: Welcoming New Friendships

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What is a good way to welcome new friendships in your life? Not just superficial friends but actually friends with whom you truly connect and are supportive?

Charmaine B.M., Morganville, NJ

Hi Charmaine, 

Thank you so much for your question! It's a great one, because many people run into the same issue as we get older, in that it's not as easy to welcome new friends into our lives. It's harder to meet people, and we also tend to grow apart from former friends. Not everyone walks the same path, and sometimes friends don't serve us as well once our paths diverge. 

My first suggestion for you is to look at the location of your dining room and dining table in your home. How close are they to the front door? In your case, it's better if the dining room and table are further towards the back of the home. If they are close to the front door, is it possible for you to move the dining room or table towards the back of the house / room, past the mid-line? Your dining table represents how you break bread with people, interact with them and connect with them. When the dining area is close to the door, it may indicate superficial friendships coming into and leaving from your life quickly. Kind of like "dining and dashing!"

If you do have the situation in your home with the dining area near the front door, but can't change it, there's still hope! The second option, if the first is not available to you, is to place a mirror in the dining area. Choose a large mirror (the larger, the better) and set it up so that it reflects the dining table towards the back of your home. This means that when you look at the mirror, you're facing the back of the home. This energetically pulls your dining table back further into the home and therefore further into the feng shui bagua layout of your home. This may seem a bit confusing, so I encourage you to submit your floor plan, and I can specify which wall to use. 

I also suggest using your dining area often, if you don't already. These days we often neglect dining tables and end up using them as landing places for old mail, working at home and essentially everything but eating! In fact, if you're working at your dining room table too often, that could signify that you are spending too much time on work and not enough on cultivating friendships. Take some time to clean off your table, and host a dinner party or a few friends to activate that energy. 

Finally, activate the Benefactors area of your home. You're not just looking for superficial friends, but for people who can connect with and support you. This means you're looking for Benefactors, helpful people in your life who comfort and encourage you. To welcome these relationships, activate the Benefactors area of the bagua. You can do this by adding a heavy statue in this area to provide support and stability. You can also add plants to your Benefactors area, especially plants with red flowers. Red is auspicious in feng shui, and green plants stimulate new growth and new beginnings

If you'd like, send your floor plan along, and we'll take a more personal look at your dining area. If you're already working with a consultant, consider getting into the question a bit deeper and looking at your specific situation. Are you meeting lots of friends but not connecting? Do you not meet anyone? Do your friends often betray you? It's important to answer these questions so that you can take steps to adjust your space and life to make room for great friends!

by Anjie Cho

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