Q&A Sunday: Feng Shui for a Father and Daughter

Feng Shui for a Father and Daughter.jpg

We moved into a rental empty apartment, myself and adult daughter, and need to maximize space also because we love lots of space and room just to be. One room is big enough for a full bed and desk and has one small door for closet. The other room has one side wall as a huge closet and one small closet on the opposite wall for things like books. It has a mirror that will face east and the water, but shines into the bed no matter what position the bed is placed (so it can be covered at night). Because my ex and my son come to visit, I thought about a daybed with a trundle so when none of us are there, she has room for exercise also, since it has a big mirror, and to spend time during the day at the daybed. However I will be living with her for a while and do not wish to create bad energy for myself or future for herself. Can you please advise?

Syl P., Providence, RI

Hi Syl,

Thanks for writing in. I have not seen your floor plan, but in general it sounds like you need advice on how you’re going to survive living with your adult daughter in a small space. There is also the consideration of hosting your ex and your son. Since you wish to not create bad energy for yourself or for your daughter, I’m sensing there is some negativity there already. 

There are, of course, the mundane space planning aspect, but it sounds like you’ve thought this through. And since there’s no floor plan, there’s not much I can advise on. But what I can offer you is some tools to work with uplifting the space. 

Somethings to look out for:

  • Is your bedroom in the commanding position of the home? It would be better if your bedroom was more in command (further back) than your daughter’s. This establishes you as the father so you can support your daughter.

  • Is your bed in the commanding position of your bedroom?

  • Are there any doors that open and hit each other? This can mean arguments. You can learn how to correct this from a feng shui consultant, but for now, you can just be aware if you do have this happening in your home.

Because you’re the father, I’m assuming that you will want to do what you can to support your daughter. The Abundance area of the feng shui bagua map is related to the eldest daughter. This area is also related to a big tree, and what a big tree needs is water to grow and feel supported. To activate and support your daughter, some adjustments can be made to the Abundance area of your home. For instance, a water element like a fountain, or even purchasing fresh flowers in a vase of clean water. The flowers might be a wonderful idea, because you will have to refresh them frequently. Each time you do, you can remember that the purpose is to help your daughter grow and flourish in the world. The flowers also work to add joy into the home. Fresh fragrant flowers can unstick any negative energy.

Take a look at some of our blog posts, like Decorating with Seasonal Flowers and Do You Speak the Language of Flowers? for ideas on what kind of flowers to bring into your space for your needs. Also, be sure if you add a fountain, the water flows into the home - not out. Good luck in your new space with your family!

by Anjie Cho

If you’d like to learn more about feng shui check out the Mindful Design feng shui cerfication program. Laura Morris and I launched our program in September 2018. Check us out at www.mindfuldesignschool.com

Mindful Design is a new way to learn feng shui. Our a unique training program takes an holistic approach to learning the art of feng shui design. Mindful design is about becoming aware, and attentive, to the energy around you: both inner and outer qi. It is about promoting a better way of living and creating sacred spaces that support, and nourish.

Thanks for reading our "Q&A Sunday".  We will be answering questions submitted by our readers. Click here to submit any Feng Shui or Green Design questions!

Embrace Your Feminine Energy With Feng Shui For Tonight's Pink Full Moon

featured today on MindBodyGreen

  image credit: Cloud Studio / Stocksy via  MindBodyGreen  

 image credit: Cloud Studio / Stocksy via MindBodyGreen 

April's full moon rises this year on the 11th and has fondly been named the Pink Moon, but don't expect it to look particularly pink! It's actually named after pink flowers called wild ground phlox, which bloom in early spring and become widespread throughout the United States and Canada this time of year in the Northern Hemisphere.

In feng shui philosophy, the moon is a very powerful symbol and consideration, related to yin (feminine, subconscious, internal) energies and connecting us to the invisible. The full moon is also a time when we can embrace our feminine, intuitive energy and honor the pink moon.

Here's how:

The power of pink

Colors are one of the major ways in which to shift the feng shui of your internal and external environments. We see so much with our eyes, and color can arouse and transform our energy. Pink is a soft, feminine color that gently inspires passion and is the combination of fiery red softened with the simple purity and clarity of white. Pink is also associated with the heart chakra, the center of healing and encouraging self-love.

...read full article

by Anjie Cho

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Do You Speak the Language of Flowers?

Most of us know how meaningful it is to receive flowers or plants from a lover, colleague, friend or anyone else in our lives. Typically, it shows that the person cares for us and wants to invite beauty into our lives. Even with only these connotations, plants and flowers make beautiful gifts. But there is actually so much more meaning in which flowers are chosen and how they are presented! Harkening back to Victorian times, we refer to this as the language of flowers. 

In her reference book, The Language of FlowersSheila Pickles gives a few great examples of how it is important to take care in choosing the color and presentation style of flowers as gifts. 

The choice of flower was all important, but so too was the manner of presentation. If the flowers were upside down the opposite meaning was intended, thus tulips presented with their stems uppermost meant blatant rejection from a lover.

Ardent suitors must beware when selecting their roses, for whilst the Cabbage Rose implies ambassador of love and Rose la France invites the loved one to meet by moonlight, the Yellow Rose means that love is waning.

To get a little deeper into this concept, I wanted to share some of my favorite flowers based on meaning through the language of flowers. 


The Hollyhock flower has a very interesting history, as it is believed to be a characteristic English plant but was actually brought to the European continent from China. In Chinese culture, this flower symbolizes fruitfulness and has been expanded to represent female ambition!


Like the rose, the meaning of Jasmine depends on the color and genus. The most popular variety of jasmine is the White Jasmine, which represents amiability and love. The Yellow Jasmine, a symbol of grace and elegance, and the Spanish Jasmine, which invokes sensuality are close behind. 


The Lily flower may be one of the most commonly used in modern times for its symbolism. Believed in Christian legend to have originated from Eve's tears as she left the Garden of Eden, the Lily stands for purity and is often used in wedding bouquets and religious ceremonies for this reason. 


Though it may not always be the first choice, the Pansy is a wonderful gift, as it sends a message that you are thinking about the person to whom you give it. Pansies are symbolic for thoughts (the name is derived from the French word for "thoughts") and were often used in Victorian days as gifts to loved ones as reminders of affection.

What is your favorite flower? Do you know what it means in the Victorian language of flowers? I encourage you to take a look and see what messages and intentions you are sending and welcoming into your space with flowers. More than just pops of color, these beautiful additions can be very meaningful!

by Anjie Cho

6 Autumn Flowers You'll Fall For

We did it! We survived the summer heat, and autumn has arrived. What better way to welcome the season than with a collection of flowers made just for fall? Here at Holistic Spaces, we're big fans of bringing flowers inside, no matter what the season, and these flower choices can keep bright color going in your spaces long after summer's sun fades. 

image credit:  whatcomflowers

image credit: whatcomflowers


These blooms are actually perennial, so when spring and summer flowers begin to droop, they'll just be getting started. Aster flowers resemble both daises (thus the alternate name Michaelmas daisies) and stars (or starworts) and are available in a variety of colors from white to red to purple to blue and many colors in between. In the language of flowers, aster blooms symbolize patience, which we can all use during this stressful season!

 If you're aiming to grow these indoors, pay close attention to the type you purchase, as some can grow up to eight feet! Otherwise, just make sure to give your aster full sun, regular moisture and quick-draining soil. 


Actually a part of the Aster family, these little flowers have gotten a bad rap as allergens. As it turns out, ragweed is actually the hay fever culprit, which means these pretty yellow flowers are welcome in your holistic space, especially since they symbolize careful encouragement. In fact, if you're growing indoors, the Little Lemon goldenrod is a great choice! Be sure to give these beauties a decent amount of sun and plant in well-drained soil. Or just select a few stems for a pretty bouquet!


Helenium may just be the perfect flower to bring all the brilliant colors of autumn into your home, since it blooms in bright yellow, orange and deep red. It symbolizes tears in the language of flowers, but remember that life is about balance, so it's ok to have a few sad things in your space too. Just be careful when growing this beauty indoors, as the plant itself can be irritating to the skin. Take care for the first few days to wear protective gloves, then give this plant time and regular water and watch it bloom. 


These popular blooms are a token symbol of the arrival of fall and can add a welcome splash of color to cooler months. They're also the favorite flower of Chogyam Trungpa and symbolize truth and love in the language of flowers, as well as yang energy and good luck in Chinese culture. Chrysanthemums are amazing as bouquet flowers, as they can last for up to three weeks in a vase, but you can also grow them for a few weeks indoors with good, bright light during the day and frequent watering. Just take care not to place them near a security light at night, as this can throw off their cycle!


These perennials bloom during fall in vibrant colors with heart-shaped leaves and signify timid hope. Generally, cyclamen buds enjoy cooler temperatures, but if your apartment's heat is an issue, look for a tropical variety that can handle higher temps. Nourish this plant with a well-drained pot and regular watering, in a tray, only when the soil is dry to the touch, and enjoy their beauty through the fall and winter!


These stunning blooms are best in August and September and blossom in an incredible variety of colors, making them perfect for adding life to your indoor spaces. They also symbolize dignity in the language of flowers! Give these flowers plenty of sunlight and drainage, water them when dry and take care to water them at the base. If you're growing indoors, opt for a dwarf variety or just add a few cuttings to an autumn vase!

Fall flowers run the gauntlet, so these are just a few of your options for bringing some nature indoors during the cooler season. Let us know if you've got a favorite autumn flower we left out!

by Anjie Cho