Q&A Sunday: Welcoming New Friendships

What is a good way to welcome new friendships in your life? Not just superficial friends but actually friends with whom you truly connect and are supportive?

Charmaine B.M., Morganville, NJ

Hi Charmaine, 

Thank you so much for your question! It's a great one, because many people run into the same issue as we get older, in that it's not as easy to welcome new friends into our lives. It's harder to meet people, and we also tend to grow apart from former friends. Not everyone walks the same path, and sometimes friends don't serve us as well once our paths diverge. 

My first suggestion for you is to look at the location of your dining room and dining table in your home. How close are they to the front door? In your case, it's better if the dining room and table are further towards the back of the home. If they are close to the front door, is it possible for you to move the dining room or table towards the back of the house / room, past the mid-line? Your dining table represents how you break bread with people, interact with them and connect with them. When the dining area is close to the door, it may indicate superficial friendships coming into and leaving from your life quickly. Kind of like "dining and dashing!"

If you do have the situation in your home with the dining area near the front door, but can't change it, there's still hope! The second option, if the first is not available to you, is to place a mirror in the dining area. Choose a large mirror (the larger, the better) and set it up so that it reflects the dining table towards the back of your home. This means that when you look at the mirror, you're facing the back of the home. This energetically pulls your dining table back further into the home and therefore further into the feng shui bagua layout of your home. This may seem a bit confusing, so I encourage you to submit your floor plan, and I can specify which wall to use. 

I also suggest using your dining area often, if you don't already. These days we often neglect dining tables and end up using them as landing places for old mail, working at home and essentially everything but eating! In fact, if you're working at your dining room table too often, that could signify that you are spending too much time on work and not enough on cultivating friendships. Take some time to clean off your table, and host a dinner party or a few friends to activate that energy. 

Finally, activate the Benefactors area of your home. You're not just looking for superficial friends, but for people who can connect with and support you. This means you're looking for Benefactors, helpful people in your life who comfort and encourage you. To welcome these relationships, activate the Benefactors area of the bagua. You can do this by adding a heavy statue in this area to provide support and stability. You can also add plants to your Benefactors area, especially plants with red flowers. Red is auspicious in feng shui, and green plants stimulate new growth and new beginnings. 

If you'd like, send your floor plan along, and we'll take a more personal look at your dining area. If you're already working with a consultant, consider getting into the question a bit deeper and looking at your specific situation. Are you meeting lots of friends but not connecting? Do you not meet anyone? Do your friends often betray you? It's important to answer these questions so that you can take steps to adjust your space and life to make room for great friends!

by Anjie Cho

Thanks for reading our "Q&A Sunday".  We will be answering questions submitted by our readers. Click here to submit any Feng Shui or Green Design questions!

Q&A Sunday: Encouraging Change in the Home

Are there some simple things I can do to change the energy and encourage my dad to de-clutter the place?

Jane H., Bronx, NY

Hi Jane, 

Thank you so much for submitting your question to the Holistic Spaces blog. It's a great question! So, you're wondering if there are some simple things you can do to change the energy in your home and encourage your father to declutter the space. 

My first thought: If you've read or are familiar with Marie Kondo, in her book, The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up, she actually suggests working on yourself first. Take a look at your own personal space, start with decluttering that area and, by example, you'll encourage others (your dad) to do the same. If your personal areas aren't particularly cluttered, you can even work on clearing out shared public areas, like the kitchen or living room. So, my first suggestion here is to work on changing the energy of the space for yourself.

My second recommendation is to move a few things around in your home. Moving nine things with intention in your space can help to change the energy in your home, not just for your father, but for you as well. These don't have to be big adjustments. They can actually be rather small, even a matter of inches. You could move a lamp nine inches in one direction or move your dishes from one cabinet to another. Or you could completely remove an item from one room or from the home completely. As long as you take the time to stir the energy in your space by moving these nine things with thoughtfulness, you will begin to create changes for you and your dad. 

Finally, use space clearing techniques to promote change and more peace in your home! Space clearing can shake up the energy in your space and clear out stagnant energy so positive qi has room to flow. And it's really easy to do! Check out our post on using orange peels to clear space, or you can use orange essential oil to make an orange spray. Alternatively, you can buy an orange mist or try palo santo, both of which we offer at the Holistic Spaces store. You could also grab a bottle of our white sage spray, which I love. In fact, my intuition here tells me that the white sage spray would be best for you, and I feel it would really help . If the sage spray isn't within your reach, you might try buying sage and smudging like you would with palo santo. As a note, if allergies are an issue, opt for one of the sprays or palo santo, as they tend to be less irritant.

by Anjie Cho

Thanks for reading our "Q&A Sunday".  We will be answering questions submitted by our readers. Click here to submit any Feng Shui or Green Design questions!

Q&A Sunday: I Ching Divination for Moderation and Self Care

What would be the most effective way to bring, health, protection, and prosperity to our home? My 87-year-old mother lives with us. My husband is struggling, and his mental and physical energy is very low. Can you help prevent him from forgetting so much and struggling to concentrate and increase his mental and physical energy?

Eliane B., Coral Springs, FL

Hi Eliane, 

Thank you so much for your question! It's a little complicated and there are a lot of things going on in this question. I understand you're having problems with health, protection and prosperity and with your husband forgetting a lot and having mental health issues. My intuition guided me to an I Ching reading for this question, so I'll share that insight with you.

The I Ching is also known as the Book of Changes, and it's a way of divination based on Taoism. As is the I Ching practice, I threw coins for your question and received what is called Hexagram #39, which is Water over Mountain. This hexagram represents obstacles. One thing the I Ching tells me is that right now you have a lot of stumbling blocks in your life, and that's obvious in your question. It feels like you may have a lot of confusion there as well. I Ching reflects that as you're experiencing these obstacles, now is not a good time for you to push ahead into the danger. Imagine you're like a rushing river, but you have a lot of snags in your way. If you wait and build up your strength, you will push through these difficulties naturally, much like a river makes its way through a mountain.

So my suggestion would be to not use force right now. Instead, just sit and be patient. The I Ching suggests you don't have the strength to move past these obstructions yet, so focus on building your power and vigor. The second hexagram that comes up is 15, which is Moderation. This confirms that now is a time of moderation, not stubbornly moving forward. Practice moderation in your eating habits, how you spend money and in everything you do, and be careful not to go to extremes, because that could actually create more problems for you. 

As for a feng shui adjustment that could support this path, you may begin to cultivate patience and moderation in your journey to gaining the might you need for this task. I recommend working on a few opposite areas of the feng shui bagua: Self-Knowledge and Relationships, which is also related to self-care. Both of these areas are Earth elements, so nurturing them is not about doing anything, but about taking care of yourself, moving slowly and implementing self-control as you build strength. Since this is an issue between you and your husband, I suggest activating these bagua areas of your bed. To do this, place a nine-inch long red ribbon under your mattress in each area, Knowledge and Relationships. When working with a bed, set the bagua at the head of the bed so that the headboard runs along the Abundance, Recognition and Relationships areas, and the foot borders Knowledge, Path in Life and Benefactors. 

Facing your headboard from the foot of your bed, the left corner closest to you would be Knowledge. Put a nine-inch long red ribbon there. The far right corner, near the headboard, would be where you place another ribbon to activate Relationships. That's my advice for now. Make these small adjustments with intention and keep the idea of moderation in mind. You are experiencing setbacks, but instead of focusing on that, really take care of yourself and actively work on your self-cultivation and self-care right now. Good luck!

by Anjie Cho

Thanks for reading our "Q&A Sunday".  We will be answering questions submitted by our readers. Click here to submit any Feng Shui or Green Design questions!